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SONY’s New Stupid Piece of Shit

Posted by Chalky on Mar 1, 2009 in Funny, Rants, Technology
Get the Flash Player to see the wordTube Media Player.

I watched this funny video from The Onion News Network in the latest episode of Diggnation.

I was going to turn it into a rant about SONY/at least say something, but in the end, I couldn’t be bothered!

Enjoy!

 
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Signs of Age

Posted by Chalky on Dec 23, 2008 in Life Stuff, Rants

With my 23rd birthday having been and gone, whilst down South in Surrey a few weekends ago, I started to contemplate that fact that I am getting old (as you do). I came to this conclusion due to a number of reasons which I thought I’d share with you:

·         Openly Complaining

Those who know me well will wonder what I’m on about as I’m known for my moaning about pretty much anything. But it’s progressed beyond that, I find myself openly complaining about random things; Instead of complaining quietly afterwards, I’ll complain to the company/persons involved.

For example, on the way down to Surrey a week last Friday, travelling down the M1, I drove past Leicester. My daily dose of Paramore kept getting interrupted because BBC Radio Leicester kept broadcastingthe RDS TA (Radio Data System Traffic Alert) Flag. Normally this is a good thing because you are kept up to date with the lastest Travel News. However, on this occasion BBC Radio Leicester were broadcasting the flag and playing some dire Caribbean/Reggae music. Each time I switched back to my CD, the flag was sent again.

It got to the point where i actually rung up BBC Radio Leicester to complain about it! See what I mean!

·         Referring to my Youth

Now, it’s not quite “When I was a lad, things were diffrerent, young peoplehad respect for their elders.” But, I do find myself reminising days gone by and I often talk about School/Sixth Form/University life as though it was many moons ago when, in actual fact, it was only a couple of years ago.

·         Commenting on Students’ Dress Sense

I know that I haven’t got any reason to talk, I’m hardly the fashion item of theCentury, but I just find some of the clothes that the Students at work wear are completely mental. It’s even just clothes really, for example, there is one Student at work who has bright orange hair. When I say bright orange, it more bright than any orange I can find in the text colour selector. It’s bright highlighter orange and basically looks like they’ve cracked a Stabilo Boss pen over their head!

I mean, I didn’t even think they made hair dye in that colour, I wonder if it was some kind of custom mixture. Although, it’s not like I hang around the Hair Dye aisle of Tesco so for all i know, it would be their best selling Dye!

So, it could just be my old age but I just can’t imagine how that could be thought as looking good. I mean, it must be a good thing for their friends because they’ll never be able to lose her, even if they wanted to! No offence to the Student though, I’m sure she thinks she looks great.

·         Inability to handle alcohol

“Back in the day,” I used to be known for my ability to down drinks rapidly. However, in recent months, I’ve found that this ‘skill’ has somewhat dwindled. Even if I want to, I can no longer down a Pint of Carling like I used to be able to. In fact, it takes me nearly an hour to drink a Pint these days.

·         No idea of who 95% of the people in the UK Top 40 are and have no desire to listen to their ‘music’

I don’t know if this is to do with age generally or just because my taste in music has changed/got stuck in a timewarp over the years. Either way, I couldn’t tell you more than 2 or 3 people that are currently in the UK Top 40, nor could I recongise the songs associated with those artists.

 
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Not So Premier Hand Car Wash

Posted by Chalky on Nov 6, 2008 in Bad Luck, Driving, Rants

If, like me, you’re too lazy to wash your car properly yourself you’ll probably take your car to your local car wash. I’ve always been told not to use a mechanical car wash that uses brushes and I’ve heard a tale or two about the consequences. Now I have my own story!

For the past year I’ve been using the Premier Hand Car Wash on Queens Road next to Halfords. I’ve taken all 3 of my cars (Pipsqueak the Seicento, Percy the Punto and now Clarence the C3) as well as my friend’s Daihatsu Terios and not really had any problems… until now (and they certainly made up for it)!

I took my car in this afternoon because it was well overdue for a wash, I think I must have left it a couple of months and with the recent bad weather it was looking a right state. So I popped down to Queens Road and got my car washed. Everything appeared to be OK, but I noticed they seemed to be taking an extraordinarily long time to clean my car and kept blasting it with the pressure washer. I just assumed this was because my car was extremely dirty. 

However, once I got home and got out of the car, I realised the real reasoning for the extra time spent:

 

Front-Right Door

Front-Right Door

 

Rear-Right Door

Rear-Right Door

 

Between Right Doors

Between Right Doors

 

Aerial

Aerial

It’s pretty much the same on the other side too. Suffice to say, I wasn’t best pleased so I went straight back down to Queens Road. To be fair, they were very apologetic and did take full responsibility, but that doesn’t stop my car looking a complete wreck.

It turns out that they’d managed to spray the Acid that they use on wheels (to loosen dirt) all over my car and that they had realised which was why they kept spraying my car… Nice of them to tell me first time round! They’ve arrange for their bodyshop man to come and sort my car out next week. I’m a bit miffed that I’m going to have to drive the car for nearly a week in the state that it is in but I suppose there’s nothing I can really do. I certainly won’t be settling for anything less than the handles looking in perfect condition as they were pre-washing. If not, they’re going to have to pay for them to be replaced.

Whilst they’ve assured my that this won’t damage the paint work on my car, I’m not really convinced so I’m going to get my Uncle Nigel to check the whole car over. He’s hoping it will be OK but he says I’ll find out by Sunday if it’s not going to be (by the very fact that the paint will start to come off)!

So, the moral of the story is don’t be lazy and wash your car yourself! But, if you are still far to lazy to wash it yourself, you might want to think more carefully about where you take it!

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HI Daniel White, check out what we’ve just stolen from Facebook…

Posted by Chalky on Sep 6, 2008 in Rants

Well, I thought I’d keep on with the complaining about Social Networking sites. And why is the silhouette of a woman, let alone the face that if I was stood next to Russell Brand they’d also be a silhouette of a fist!

Does anyone actually still use MySpace?

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When is Contextual not Contextual? When it’s Facebook Contextual!

Posted by Chalky on Sep 5, 2008 in Bad Luck, Rants

Is it me, of has Facebook not quite gathered what a Contextual Ad actually is?

Here’s what our old friend Wikipedia has to say about Contextual Advertising:

Contextual advertising is a form of targeted advertising for advertisements appearing on websites or other media, such as content displayed in mobile browsers. The advertisements themselves are selected and served by automated systems based on the content displayed to the user.

This is what I also thought a Contextual Ad was. It is odd to me, therefore, that when I logged in a loaded up my Facebook profile today that I was greeted with this:

How charming is that. Get your contexts right Facebook, FIX IT!

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